Young men and young women need fathers too. They need fathers in order to see and love themselves as healthy, wholesome men and women; they need to learn how to except the love of a man. “I don’t mean perverted sexual behavior that is often mistaken for love. I am speaking of the kind of love, that we were created to apply to one another.” Modern man needs to know how to serve his progeny in this manner.
Young people need to know how to bond with good, clean, upright moral men, as well as their fathers. By not having this kind of bonding relationship young men and young women will grow up in a state of shock, and live in terror of adult males most of the time. They will experience a fearful existence for the greater part of their young lives. This in some cases may leave them off balance, and carry over into their adult lives.
This fear stems from the lack of “Patriarchal Protection.” This protection is a must in having balanced relationships develop between young men and women, their family members and the rest of society.
This patriarchal protection is essential especially in the lives of our young daughters. They must know that they’re safe! “Without this protection our daughters are opened to all kind of negative influences and out right attack by those who practice the diabolic arts and all types of deviant behavior.” With this protection our young daughters will be able to discover for themselves the qualities that will define man, as their natural mate, protector and partner. Knowing this, she will know how to choose the kind of man that will complement her place in life.
With this protective element missing in their lives; it can and will create extreme difficulties in spousal and marital relationships. Mothers and wives may unconsciously develop a strong hatred for men, which, in most cases will filter down to their sons. These mothers may inadvertently take their frustration and hatred out on their sons, thus transporting this hated from son to father.
This will destroy the son’s ability to develop and function as a complete man. Without his father this young man can lose his ability to face the challenges and not see the responsibly men need to face in order to face the world and grow normally.
Studies shows that girls as well as boys develop feelings of self-worth based upon their relationship or lack there of with their father in their lives. The relationship with their father has a great deal of influence on how youngsters will relate to members of the opposite sex as adults.
Therefore, it is important to be positive and consistent when interaction is taken place between fathers and their children. It is essential that mothers be supportive in this process.
The report “Kid Count,” commissioned by the Annie E. Casey Foundation in Baltimore in 1992:
Showed that over 19 million children in the United States lived in a single parent household, headed by mothers. Thirty–six percent (36%) of the youngsters were living in poverty compared with only seven percent (7%) of children living in two-parented families.
Among Black families, over fifty percent (50%) of households were headed by mothers and seventy-one and three-tenths (71.3%) percent of the children lived below poverty level. Quite nature these figures have increased over the years.
Kid Count stated:
“Children of father-absent households are five times more likely to be poor and about ten times more likely to be extremely poor.”
Kid Count further stated:
“Because of poverty issues, family dysfunction, the breakdown of communities and rising unemployment; many men are unable to parent or are ignorant about the importance of their role as fathers in the lives of their children.
According to the report; World Without Work Causes and Consequences of Black Male Joblessness:
“The relationship between the economic well being of Black Men and the stability of the Black Family is complex.” It is therefore important that programs be developed in the African-American community to address not only the economic but the psycho-social effects of growing up fatherless.”
“Therefore, we purpose a program to enable African-American men to engage in responsible fatherhood training classes.” The role of father is critical in the psycho-social development and well bring of all children.”
“In the African-American community the realities of poverty, racism, joblessness, substance abuse, and other self inflicted crimes. This has caused a disproportionate number of children to be raised without their fathers.”
“Therefore our proposed program will target not only disadvantaged never married fathers, non-custodial fathers, young men who have never been fathers; as well as fathers living with their families and who need the support to stay there. As well as single mothers in need of strong male role figures to be a support to them; single mothers, fathers and their children.”
Our major focus will be to encourage marriages among our single families as well as the financial and economical support need for family stability. We believe this will create an atmosphere of growth and restoration of our families and communities across the board and across the country.
Mulzim R. Fidai